While the whole world was on panic and emotionally unstable, most marriage houses in India had faced stress relieved happy moments.
Commoners Ideology of Success
In India, since ages, there have been only two things which were considered as huge events in one’s life:
1. Building a house
If a person had completed these things, then he/she was considered as a winner; No matter how much he/she had suffered earlier, or later to that.
Even though there were other things involved in life like business, work, and a lot more, only the above mentioned were prioritized, because the continuation it has had involved a minimum period of 2 generations.
Also, everything else might get disappeared in no time. But these two takes time and approval by many (sentimentally). So, these have had a strong attachment to one’s life.
Unlike modern times, there were no options for varieties of house constructions (from time and budget management) to divorce and remarriage options in marriages. That’s why they were considered sacred, and compromising quality in those were considered as a “Sin”. This was the prevailed mentality of Indians, so, those ended up with so much hype around it.
If everyone started considering the modern options, then those exaggerations might fade away. This doesn’t mean that the old rules only exist, but majorly. The majority is still sticking with old philosophies of success.
The genesis of this mentality
Due to continuous hype about these events, whenever someone thinks about doing these, they would try to do it in the best way possible. This thought works differently among men and women, yet, results are the same.
In males, it would be considered as an opportunity to project themselves as the protagonist of the occasion, in every way possible. So, they would do everything in their limit to project their best in others eyes.
In females, this opportunity is considered to project themselves as superior to everyone else. They would do everything to not just settling with the best, but how it would be better than everyone else.
These are typical psychological plays. It can’t be accused. Also, every thought to do such things are due to the implied knowledge as “One time in life experience” (as the modernizes were not considered).
Sticking to the age-old stigma, and with socialized internet life, everything was projected as a common routine instead of bringing in a changed approach.
The antecedent trend to COVID-19
There were ridiculous things happened everywhere before the COVID-19’s pandemic in India (ongoing in several places now as well). The main bizarre event- Indian Marriages.
There is n number of stories; I’d like to take you with one such event I’ve participated, where a middle-class government officer (retired) has spent a whopping 35L on his daughter’s wedding.
The amount spent on the wedding was made with his settlement amount after retirement. To him, his daughter is the only child. Priceless. He made his daughter feel like a princess (like every girl’s wish). She had felt special like never before too. What went wrong here?
First, his retirement amount was the price for his 30+ years of work, which was intended to save him on his verge, and later life. Giving up on that puts his life after retirement at stake. He could’ve led an independent life, but missed, and had to be dependent thereafter.
The entire amount was spent on 2 days, mostly on unknown & unfamiliar faces, which wouldn’t be any different from a budget marriage but with the exaggerations. Put yourself in his position and think about how you would be reacting and thinking about everything. Would you be focusing on how your money was doing its role? Or on the guests?
Everyone’s mind would be around the money spent on dress, decorations, and food to makeover. Everything would be fine if it was on the limit, if not, then what advantages it has got in future? Other than a small memory in everyone’s (main participants) mind. Nothing!
Ravaged houses of India by “Expensive marriages”
Whatever seen above were the routines for conducting a marriage among most families in India. Irrespective of a family’s position and strength it could bear, most fell for this exaggerated marriage celebrations.
Taking a loan for it and settling that through EMI was considered a common factor among most families, especially middle-class groups.
While a few sets of people could easily manage these, most were running behind those EMI’s and living a stressful life just to be debt-free, which was not mattered in the first place. Some have lost time (while running behind it), while many lost lives after it.
The origin of this mentality and the trap everyone is in will be discussed in a separate blog real soon. Until then, KIT to follow the updates. Here, let’s see how corona’s influence is playing in Indian marriages.
Revolutionized marriages by corona in India
As corona came into action, it has put almost all gatherings a big NO and made everything mandatory with a minimum number of peoples as possible.
In this corona lockdown, I’ve been to my friend’s marriage, and it shocked me to the core beauty of a marriage ceremony.
It has happened in his house with very few people (hardly 50), including close relatives and friends. The list was very easy to pick that the family members completed inviting everyone in a day.
As it was in home- visiting, stay, decorations and every other aspect required for that event were made only in mandatory places, and kept simple. This cuts the expense in every way possible and used to buy what’s required/useful for the couple’s new life, fortunately.
With a handful of people, it was easy to spot, care, and demand attention from everyone. It has shown who mattered by their interest in taking the event on their own.
From the initial understanding of what’s a need in terms of sentimental values (of having affectionate people around us) to identifying sustainable models in the future, the corona has underlined all the basic needs.
It was carried out with utmost fun, utmost care, and completely reduced stress and negative thoughts.
If this has happened in a big hall like a routine one, then all the care would have gone unnoticed, and all those unimportant attraction from unknown/unfamiliar faces and expenses could have piled up instead of making it a beautiful memory, and a reminder to the surrounding, positively.
Marriage- A Social Event
Marriage is not just a two people’s function; It’s a social event.
It needs love, guidance, care, and moral support from a family. And that family should contain everyone who cares for us. So, make it a social one, and extract the (beautiful) essence in it.
Credits- Divakar Ragupathy