It was a Wet sunrise made by previous day’s late-night rainfall. It made every uncle and aunties in the apartment ground to feel tired and sloth for their activities today. I see too many new faces as well. All made by the summer holidays, I think.
The drowsier climate didn’t affect me as I’m one hell of a fitness freak. Uncle’s here and there, aunties trying to walk fast. I went through all those faces while jogging. Everyone with their bellies, longing for some extra sleep, fear of their health… Those faces told me too many stories.
I was laughing at them in my mind telling myself that, my life is designed by me with all the love and I got all the love back. Those are primarily because of my parents who allowed me to do whatever I loved to do (only after confirming that, it’s from my heart) and secondarily by my love VALLI. With whom I was in love for the past 7 years.
So modern, open minded, the girl who’s after her passion and standing on her own feet. When I told her, I want to live the rest of my life with her but, without marrying and without kids, she accepted it. Just for the sake of my love on her and understanding my mentality about kids, marriage and family set up.
Since then, my mornings are lit up with her face and evening are lite in her lap. stress free as we are friends outside our bedroom and lovers inside it. we were living together since our college 3rd year. it’s been 4 years. Fights, pampers, break ups, patch ups, love, sex, everything made our journey till today. my life is colorful and main thanks to my parents who left my life on my choice and with Valli.
Thinking all this I’ve pushed 2 more extra rounds of jog than usual. Still I want to go some more. Because, I’m leaving India to UK by noon and will be out for a couple of months for an onsite work along with my best friend and senior since my 4th grade in school Amudhan who’s also my boss.
2 more rounds done. Now, it’s time for me to get home because I’m exhausted.
Our apartment (rented) is on the 7th floor. Every day I used to take stairs. But, not today as I find no strength for that.
I head for the elevator and surprised to see Valli standing there holding a pocket of milk in her right hand and some groceries in a basket in her left-hand facing lift. Usually, I do all these purchases and this cute little bird’s first alarm is at 7:30. I don’t know what made her to woke up early and to catch all these at 6:45 in the morning!
I admired her for a min. her brown colored pony tail, her yellow tees, 3/4th black pant. Damn! This little bird looks gorgeous in whatever she wore. She’s pretty in every outfits she’s in. If it’s a saree, OMG, I have no words to explain that feel. maybe it’s because of her curvy structure. I don’t know how she maintains her body even without exercises and diet controls. If I stop jogging for 3 days, I feel like I have added 3 kilos.
The space is empty and I thought about using it. I wanted to hug her from her from back and surprise her now. I sneaked to grab her waist and pulled her to me. My right-hand ring finger can feel her belly button. On a shock, she turned completely facing me. Now, her cold hand having milk pocket is in my left upper chest and I can feel the chillness. Her left-hand is in my abdomen leaving the basket to the floor.
Those eyes were looking into mine. Damn! That face, with some hair on her cheek! I went on my knees after seeing that for few seconds (she’s dope). I hugged her so tight in her belly and I can literally hear her heart beat echoes in her upper stomach using my left ear.
‘So, you wanna do the program now it seems?’, she questioned me.
In our code “program” means sex’. ‘Yes, I’m not going to be with you for 70 straight days so, I’m going to do it like it’ll remind me about you for all those days’, I stopped in a high pitch than usual. she rubbed my head with the chill milk pocket.
Lift clings opened. Some old aunty came out laughing at us. I acted like I was trying to pick the basket up. We (me and Valli) both laugh at each other after rushing ourselves into the lift. We went up. She opened the door of our house and went in front of me. After reaching dining room I once again pulled her to me in a mood for sex. Again, looking at her eyes my timeline went still. I just keep looking at her eyes grabbing her waist
We didn’t blink for a while. When she lifts her toes to kiss me in the lips, I just pulled her face close to my neck and hugged her tight. It’s not the first time it’s happening. Whenever she’s in saree, I kept doing it. No lip locks, no sexual desires. Just hugging tight and standing still. I can sense her smiling. Because, she knew that, I will do this only when my romantic mood for her goes higher than usual. I too smiled and kissed her head.
We were standing like that for more than few mins. ‘Sir, I know that, the program is cancelled but, if you free me now, I can make something for you and bring justice for my early wake up’, she muttered. I know it’s just her lips saying that. I didn’t speak back instead, tried to hug her tight even more possible leaning my cheek on her head. I just wanted that time to get froze. As the clock bell sounded 7, she pushed me to make something for me heading to the kitchen. Usually we help each other while cooking or whatever we are into. But I didn’t move this time. actually, I couldn’t.
I just sat in the kitchen using one of the dining table chairs. The sight is another beauty. Seeing her doing something for me with a touch of humming in her style was unreasonably beautiful. only one thing runs in my mind apart from Valli is the running time. I think in my mind like, who controls it? please stop it.
Time is 7:30. I have time till 2 in the noon and I’m gonna be with her for every second of it. we bathe together, ate together and by 12:00 we started our car to the airport. Amudhan with his wife Anchana reached the airport before us. whenever they see us in pair one simple question every time! “when you are planning to get married?”
for that, we answer in Arya stark’s style, “NOT TODAY”
It’s time for the flight. After all those bye’s and kisses we were climbing the escalator and she’s slowly getting away from my eyes. Damn, man! I’m in serious love with this woman. The excitement of getting to a new place was nowhere in me as the feel of missing her pumps high. in the last 3 years I’ve never left this woman this long and this far from my eyes.
I tried to call her after checking in (video call through WhatsApp). she didn’t pick it up. Instead she messaged me call u back later. When Amudhan was on his phone, Anchana told me that she was crying. It literally melts me. I’ve never seen her cry (of course she did many on my shoulders but, not for me). Amudhan said only one thing to me, ‘you are a gifted idiot who’s also cursed to know nothing’. I didn’t get that. when I inquired what’s that supposed to mean he replied, ‘you’ll get to know it after we reach London’
After getting in the plane slowly my consciousness came to present. I should be happy for 2 reasons. first one is the place. I’ve never been to UK earlier. Second is Garret. he’s my colleague working in our UK branch. Whenever he’s here in India, fun guaranteed. I’ve known him for 5 years since Amu (Amudhan) were on initial stages of his projects. Amu find him online.
At that time, Garry was a freelancer. Garry found Amu’s idea thundering. So, he left that non-committed highly earning freelancing work and started to work for Amudhan. So, Amu appointed Garry as his second employee. While the first being me! Though he’s elder to me by 15 years, I’ve not felt it even a single time. It’s going to be fun filled days with him after 1.7 years of long break since I met him. And a loyal one too.
The view of London becomes visible at a distance of about 24000 feet from land. Garry was not there to welcome us at the airport. I was a bit disappointed. he may be not available for welcoming a friend like me, but who would be busy to welcome a friend who’s also a boss to them? I felt pity for Amudhan. We took a cab and reached our office guest house. Surprisingly Garry was there doing all the welcoming procedures for us. After 12 hours of unpleasant flight with a terrible feeling of missing my love, one savior of the moment was meeting this 40-year-old blonde idiot.
While we are sitting in the living room, I heard something in the kitchen. I thought, it was some cat or rat but it was Lisa, who’s making some hot chocolates for us.
‘you brought your girlfriend home too, for the welcoming party?’ I questioned Garry.
‘Wife’, he replied.
‘what?’, I pardoned
‘not girlfriend my Snorlax (my nickname by Garry for snoring often), wife!’
‘when did this happen? how and why?’
‘stop your excitement and calm down. It’s a long story and we kept it as a secret from you’, Amudhan replied.
‘you moron! you knew that?’, I was shocked to know that Amudhan knew it too.
‘everyone including Valli knew it dude’, Lisa kicked in.
‘you guys serious? why the hell you didn’t tell me about this? Am I not important to you? Am I not a family member to you? you guys are my life! I didn’t expect anything like this from you guys!’, I shouted and vanished into my room.
Even the love of my life didn’t tell anything to me about this. It makes me even more upset. Till that moment I was messaging her, by creeping into my phone while with them and she’s replying. Now, I turned down the phone after sending one message, ‘You too Brutus?’
I expected an apology from them. From all of them. None struck the door after I force closed it. My anger joins my tiredness and puts me to sleep. Yet, for a long time I can hear those 3 buggers talking and laughing for a while in my sleepiness.
It was 6.30 in the morning. My phone alarm blew. In my eagerness I checked my phone for apology messages. Surprisingly nothing. not even one from Valli after that last message of mine. it was seen right at the moment I sent her. It made me even more frustrated in the morning with the feel of missing Valli’s face right next to me when I woke up. In my whole life no mornings have felt this much frustrated. The feel of treating like no one in the family. Man! that hurts. That sunrise was feeling like nothing to me than a vacuum cup.
I parallelly heard Amudhan’s phone ringing the alarm bell. After few mins my phone beeped with a notification. It was from that moron in the next room saying, ‘car will be here by 7:45’. “cold blooded moron” I thought in my mind and went up to freshen myself up.
The day was going as usual like our office in Chennai. Only exception is the white skinned Aliens and they are everywhere. The day going incomplete without even a single wave from Valli. I reached the room by 10:30 in the night to avoid seeing that moron with no one around. I’m feeling cold. I start to miss Valli more than in the daylight. The reality that, she’s not here and she won’t be with me for next 2 months struck me too hard. I didn’t expect my London trip to be like this. The whole day went like “I was in hell”.
I couldn’t sleep at night. I took the phone beyond my control and messaged Valli saying ‘please don’t kill me here. I wanted to be alive to see your face when I get back’.
The ticks turned blue immediately after getting delivered. No reply though. After 10 mins, I saw the phone and it showed “typing…” for almost an hour. Then, no reply. I couldn’t control my tears. I was crying out loud. I’ve never cried like this before in my life.
While crying, I see Amu’s shadow approaching the door. I thought he’d come to convince me. But standing there for some time he returned silently. I started to hate my life. I wished for my life to get ended right there.
That cry gave some relief and put me to sleep by 3:15. I woke up even before the sound of my alarm and turned it off. I was looking through the window. The London I have expected was different. This version is giving me gifts. Gifts, that I don’t ever wanted to have in my life.
My ego joined my anger and resisted me from talking to my family (obviously, my friends) for a whole week. But that didn’t work out with Valli’s case. I was messaging her every day. She see’s it but no reply. All of a sudden, a thought strikes my head. She won’t talk to me only during the times when she’s about to do or ask something, to which I may tell “NO”. On my anger I forgot this. Because, it rarely happens.
‘What do you want? Ask me straight!’, I dropped her a message.
I see typing again after a week. Still, no reply. “Damn! What the hell I did wrong?”, I asked myself.
It was a Thursday noon. My anger turns to dust and I’m filled with sorrow. I wanted to get out of here. While I tried to type Amudhan that I’m leaving for a vacation, he drops me a message stating, “we have client meeting tomorrow evening sharp @7:15 in the Starbucks. So, be on time”. Who would meet their clients in a coffee shop like that? my poor mind didn’t recognize the trap.
I was on time. I expected my team to be there but, no one else was. Time came to 7:25. They (UK people) are not like Indian’s on their punctuality. Later I realized that, it could be a prank. Of course, it is. I saw those morons standing across the street laughing at me. It brought smile in my face too yet, I tried to show angry face on them and was leaving Starbucks so fast. They ran to me and tapped on my shoulder laughing at me saying “April fool”
I thought of giving them both a tight slap. But couldn’t. Instead, I said, “It’s August you dumb suckers!”. I was silently walking controlling my laugh while they came back teasing me in all foul languages they know. Garry pushed us into one of the clubs during the walk signaling Amu “here”.
All ordered a whisky large and waited for our drinks to come. I couldn’t control my mouth, ‘for god’s sake please tell me what’s going on?’, I shouted at those idiots.
‘Valli wants to tell you something!’, Garry opened his mouth at last
‘I asked her what you want, she’s not replying me. I’m dying to know’
‘well, she’s already having it’, Amudhan added
there’s silence for some time. ‘please don’t tell me she’s pregnant! please!’, I screamed
‘what’s your problem? why you are so afraid to have a baby?’ Garry asked facing me
‘no… no no no… please don’t tell me that’s the reason you are putting up the drama. please…!’ my scream silenced the bar area for seconds
‘that’s not the reason dude, she’s not pregnant by…’, Garry’s talk was interrupted by my sigh
‘stop right there. Idiot. What’s your problem for having a married life and a family setup?’, I’ve never seen Amudhan this angry on me for my whole life
‘That requires a lot of commitment guys. I don’t want it’, I said
‘What you mean you don’t want it? Did you think about Valli’s life?’, Garry sounded like a typical Indian father
‘it’s me who’s taking care of her and I will take care of her for my life’, I tried to imply my thought
‘till when?’, Garry questioned
‘as long as I can do, as long as I live’
‘what would you do if you couldn’t take care of her while you are still alive?’, Amudhan sounded like a conspiracy theorist yet he made sense
I was silent for a min. I’m looking for a reply to come up with but couldn’t. My mind was empty. I became speechless.
‘but, don’t bring marriage as the only solution and kids as your only safety’, the world is moving on. We are in different phase of life’, after stating this I thought I’m a trendy genius within myself
‘physically, we could. But mentally, we can’t’, said Amudhan
‘I didn’t get you’, I added
‘So, it seems like you are in need of a live example. And FYI, the world is giving up It’s idea on living together as a lifelong relationship status. It’s good for your health and mentality while you are studying or in your post teen stage. After that, the system is different my dear Snorlax’, Garry perfectly sounds like a Indian man on his 40's
‘What you mean it won’t work? or Why in that particular time period though?’, I really wanted to know the reason and how’s it making sense
‘take a look at the single’s occupied table’, there are few, to be precise, 3 (2 females and 1 male). ‘they could be in their past half 40’s, right?’, Garry questioned me
‘yes, they look that much older’, I answered from my heart
‘within half an hour there’ll be companions to occupy them’, Garry said it like it’s his set up to fool me. Because, they were actually taken by strangers within minutes
‘is this your setup?’, I questioned them
‘don’t you look around and the name board of this club. this is especially for people who are on their first dates that’s why it’s named “THE FIRST DATE PALACE”’, Amudhan said
‘then how come we got here?’, my eagerness pushed
‘this place is owned by Lisa’s friend. we got special permission to get in here’, Garry replied me
‘so, what you wanna tell me from this? what’s the relation between what’s happening with me and all this shit?’, I yelled at them
‘don’t you see it you fool. this is the tinder life. People who are not ready to compromise their emotions in their 20’s and wants their life to be free are looking for a life in their 40’s. People are supposed to get settled by that age but, they are starting their life at that stage. Here, there are no parental and family structure like India to run a family and teach all this. Else, the condition might be different.’, Garry fierce onto me
‘I don’t get it straight. please, in simple terms.’, I really wanted to know what’s happening
‘Ok, you are afraid of the commitment after getting married like having children and unable to enjoy life like you are doing it now right?’, Amudhan asked
‘yeah! that’s a perfectly my idea’.
‘See, this is the problem. everyone wants to be free and run only for their life but, the question is, for how long? it’s a dependent life and a system which was made after serious analysis by people’, England-Indian grandpa stated it
‘What the hell happened to you man? you don’t sound like what you are 2 years earlier you too were in livin relationship right? ‘, I sounded disgusted
‘listen, I was also on the same path and mentality of yours. But when I visited India last time, I found the answers to my questions about family set-up. I too thought children will become trouble within few years. Marriage must have a decent commitment which I can’t provide etc., but the thing marriage originated for differs.
it’ll take about 5 to 7 years of togetherness to get one’s mind or to adjust our feelings for them. Marriage will create it like a bond which was made by everyone to make you feel you are attached to it. like psychologically implying it. Breaking that literally hurts one’s feelings, when it gets deep down your thoughts.
one simply can’t be in love with their partner all day all night for years. you’ll be bored, irritated, frustrated… everything happens in a relationship. you’ll get this feel even from a dog you are raising, to which, their owner is the whole and only world. Human mentality changes dude.
then coming to kids. Well, kids are obsessions at the beginning. But when they reach above 5 years of age, every child starts to develop some irritations inside their parent’s heads. come on, those are kids who can’t understand an adult’s feelings and thoughts.
And coming to our parents, they’ll be old. Many can carry out their own stuff but few need assistances. as they grow old lacking the energy to work like earlier and needed rest often and long.
This is where young couple in a family makes the balance. as they are younger and stronger, they’ll take care of the work. Well, most of the work. Their interaction with the parents and children will not be up to a level which brings them tensions. Whereas their parents with little work help and advises will make the young couple grow in a healthier way and in their (grandparent’s) rest times and most free time they help their grandchildren and take care of them.
Unlike young couple those elder couple won’t get offended too often as they mature through age and experience. that’s why divorces are not in those age groups instead they become more closer than before by the time they became grandparents.
Now, Children! They grow as house kids with their parents but, when with grandparents, they grow as human children and there’s a difference in it. we’ll (young couple) try to mold our kids based on our mind sets and interests but, the grandparents let the children be children and help them grow as they are.
That’s how a family structure is designed. that’s how logically and psychologically everyone started this system to support each other and to grow healthier. Now, people like you wanna mess this up?’, Garry’s research over the family structure came up with a solid information
I was stunned. To be frank, I’m somewhat convinced to get myself into a family setup. Not Nuclear. That won’t work. Even if it does, it’ll not going to be in a healthy way. Only with my parents. Valli’s parents were already with her brother. They make a perfect family if Garry’s study is true. I think it’s time for mine.
‘is this why you got married?’, I questioned that blonde moron who was in a livin relationship years earlier.
‘of course! I was looking for an answer and I found one. Here I’m, Married and soon going to be a father!’, he added one more surprise bomb
‘you bastards! what else you guys are hiding from me. please say it out. Else, I might end up in jail for killing you both.’ I screamed at them
‘there’s one more thing and that’s a surprise. We’ll let you know once we reach Chennai’, Amudhan added his role of presence
‘look Snorlax, you guys made me a family and I don’t want my family member to ruin his life for a stupid belief that won’t work. consider Vall…’ while Garry was going through his lecture on me, I screamed, ‘I’ll marry… I’ll marry that Lilliput and will have kids ok? please! ask that stupid Lilliput to call me now. I’m dying to talk with her and will Valli say ok to this idea?’
‘it’s was all made from Valli’s plan. Since the beginning. Who will torture you this deep and who understood this nasty hell (yeah, they are pointing me) like her in whole world?’, Amudhan stated it.
When I covered my face with my hands and busted out in laugh and cry. They both came and hug me. I was on tears. The word I often use (family) made perfect sense now.
Amudhan picked up his phone from his pocket. I saw the call connected with Valli. she was listening everything from the very beginning. all crooks played me yet, it feels good.
‘you happy now?’, my soft tone spoke out to my love after a week.
She was crying. Crying really loud. We didn’t exchange anything for a minute. Anchana from that side insisted her to speak something to her fiancé.
‘come quick. I wanna bite your cheeks’, she hung the call. nothing else spoken. But those words bring my life back to me after a week.
After that I started to miss her even more than before but, in a happy way. After 60+ thundering days in London, we head back Chennai taking Garry with us.
She was waiting for me in the receiver’s area holding a name board MAMA (like darling, in Tamil). after seeing that I couldn’t move yet I managed to run to her.
I kissed her so much and went on to my knees hugging her belly tight.
‘it’s enough here. go to your home to have your program and come to office tomorrow morning without any late’, Amudhan said cold heartedly and left us with Garry.
We didn’t do it. I just spent the night with her hugging tight the whole night. It gave me so strong and courageous feel in the morning and some sense of responsibility too.
When I get ready, she too joined me in the bike. I didn’t understand why she’s coming with me to our office but, I didn’t stop her.
when we reached the office Garry, Amudhan and all the other staffs welcomed us. I thought everyone knew we are about to marry but, that’s not the case.
those words of Amudhan in London club saying “one more surprise is waiting in Chennai” made its appearance.
he made me and Garry partners of his company and announced it out loud. I went to tears hugging him.
‘that’s how family works right?’, Amudhan said in a cool tone. Garry too joined us.
I had nothing to say other than a single term