Facts bothered me every time. As a psychologist, I have to stick to the facts, and that brought me the name “Rationalist”. With a slow start on criticizing irrational things, I started receiving negative shades through bullies.
The group continued to grow. As it gets bigger, I had been bullied exponentially with fake stories and unheard complaints about the facts.
I was mentally prepared for the concept, but not for the people’s attitude who’s debating against that. All I thought was to stick to the facts no matter how hard the hit was. This attitude made me too aggressive to raise my voice against all irrationalities.
As I continued to be in this nature, I was more unsuccessful in all the debates I fought. In fact, I lost more debates than usual. I was put off by my opponents many times. While doing that, they sensed a proud feeling about overpowering me, and that had hurt me more- for my inability to cope up with them, and for being cornered.
This had put my resistivity down towards any unwanted reactions later. So, I failed to capture what anyone else was saying in the debates later.
It costed my peace of mind, change in attitude, and character due to prolonged attitude changes. End of the day, I lost myself.
To sort things out with the society and with myself over the factual debate- I’ve gone through research for people’s attitude towards contradicting facts and to win a debate peacefully.
The reason behind someone to stop learning
All the contradictions in the world will be stopped if people started to understand the differences and similarities in nature, irrespective of the one’s created by mankind.
This is possible only when someone is ready for open learning of things without any prejudice thoughts. But this can’t be reached easily, because people (most of them) stop learning things as soon as they upload a handful of information into their brain.
Though several reasons take people away from learning, there’re 2 most common reasons among people that stops one from learning. They are:
1. The omniscient attitude
People with Omniscient attitude skip learning, because in their mind- they knew everything. If something pops up in the topic they knew (in whatever amount), they would eventually skip it to do some other things. In their mind, learning more about the topic they knew is a waste of time.
Sophophobia hits people when new information contradicts to their prejudice thoughts. People with high emotional intelligence easily manage to get over it. The problem is- people with lower intelligence.
These are the main reasons for most people to settle with right-wing thoughts as well. Because they have to unlearn everything and start learning new information’s which will contradict to their core nature.
How to bring these people into a debate
To bring an omniscient person into a debate, one has to get into that person’s mind with a thought- They are not yet omniscient.
To be in that state of mind in them, one has to be equipped with thoughts and facts, but shouldn’t unveil everything right in-front.
Bringing a sophophobic person into a debate is easy. You just have to assure about the fall of the image that the person will not face.
Though these sound cool, it is not easy for someone to bring in these into their nature unless they are immersed in that. Also, debating is an art where only a win-win situation wins every time.
The General rule followed while debating
The concept of debate is to pour in what a different set of people went through and to analyse what’s right and what’s not in it.
If the rules and purposes of a debate are maintained, then debates would have served much greater purposes in life than revenge and hate towards one’s opponent.
Unfortunately, we, as humans, are fed with emotions and various psychological fluctuations which won’t support the core nature of debate unless mixed with spices and twists.
Those circumstances include some similar situations for almost every human in the world which I did are:
1. Getting straight into the opposite side
2. Straight away accusing/cornering the opponent
3. Talking, instead of listening.
Getting straight into the opposite side- whenever I got into a debate, with a direct note, I stood opposite to the opponent by framing myself as his/her enemy at that moment. So, in their mind, the main objective is to contradict to whatever I say.
Straight away accusing/cornering the opponent- while I was in a debate, if a fair point arises, I straight away accuse/blame the opponent for it. This made them defend themselves from the accuses by redirecting the concept to some other point.
The worst part- I tried to pinpoint the flaws there too, and helped the opponents to continuously change topics until they found one.
Talking, instead of listening- the point of argument if to discuss the ideas and to find out the mistake. This is possible only when both sides talk/do their things, or else, the mistaken one should. If you keep talking, thinking that you’re helping someone to identify their mistake, then you’re the one doing a mistake. Unfortunately, that’s what I did too.
These are the mistakes I had done while debating and increased my position in many people’s hateful list. Also, the point (rationality) I conveyed while debating was not taken as well. I lost my respect, time, energy, and value of the words I spent, just by wrong interactions.
After I knew my place in people’s mind regarding the debated topics, I researched the ways to communicate properly and found the golden rules of a debate where you can slay your opponent’s thoughts with facts.
How to Debate and Win every time?
1. Assure that you’re on your opponent’s side. Contradict only with points that contradict with your ideologies/facts, and inform them that you’re on their side apart from the contradicting point. This will friend zone you to your opponent, so, you can easily extend your thoughts in their minds.
2. Let them talk, and keenly listen. No one would be ready to listen to you unless they have an idea that you are an intelligent one to speak better than them. So, let them pour their mind.
3. They should always be allowed to finish their sentence. This will help them to relax after their point through a sense of completeness. This will encourage them to listen to you more.
4. Observe and Analyse what they’re talking. This will help you to understand their situation in the debate and their road to the current location. If you find your scorecards in their route, then pin-point just that.
5. Give time to think. After your points, give your opponent time to think about your point. Notice: You have to end your sentence in such a way too. Giving such passes in between the sentences will help you make your opponent understand your points quicker.
These are the rules I’ve been following lately to win every debate and seeding my ideologies in my opponent’s mind with 100% result.